Drawing Lines

I am a kind of a person who does not retain interest in a particular thing for a long.At least my dad says this about me and believes in it strongly.

It was one day as a child that it came to me that I had to do gardening but irony being; we did not had a garden.We lived in a rented apartment then. But still I decided to buy 10-12 odd pots and to plant shrubs in them. When I told my dad and mom about it my dad gave a thumbs down to the idea out-rightly stating the reason that I shall not look after the plants after a few days when my honeymoon ends with the concept. And the pots shall also consume all the space in the balcony. Still my Mumma supported me going against my dad as she always does. The result was - my project was financed and I ended up buying the earthen pots from a potters shop near-by. Clamped and tied the pots on my bicycle's carrier and brought them home.Next was mud and manure which I sourced from the milkman's shed nearby who had a side-business of preparing and selling it. And plants too from a nearby nursery. The plants included flowers like roses,boganvilla,sadabahar(do not know its english name) etc. along with some showy leafy shrubs. With all this I had achieved all what I wanted. Now watering and pruning the shrubs regularly became a routine.
Every day in the mornings or afternoon or when-ever I used to find time I used to observe very closely each and every new leave or flower that used to come up in any branch of any of the plants. Starting from the point when the bud sprouts up and then it grows big and then un-curling up taking up the shape of a beautiful flower or a leaf. This was my reward. In this way watching them grow in front of my eyes used to give an immense feeling of satisfaction that all my hard work given into it was paid back. This eternal satisfaction used to be my source of motivation of continuing and keeping up with a seemingly mundane task(proved my dad wrong this time here).

This was my experience which dates back 10-11years. I am no longer a child.I have an access to vast pool of resources now. World is my play-ground. I earnestly want to live that same experience again...but the difference being,I want to plant a tree this time....a start-up of my own(pray I'd be able to realize it in times ahead). I still have to decide on the kind of tree I want to plant i.e the concept. And then I shall source the kind of mud and manure(resources) accordingly.

God knows, but may be this can be where my destiny lies. At least my present situation makes me think hard on these lines...and this is what I am coming up onto---

------------------THE PRESENT SCENARIO ----------------

So my dear blog I am going to be personal with you in an explicit manner in this post.

I am going through such a lean patch that I feel I am leading a complete worthless life. Having finished my college so many months ago(8 months to be precise which seems ages now) but still not yet employed(wipro did not gave joining till date...so thank you WIPRO for distributing us free caps and appointment letters costing 50 paisa each...and a free on campus training session which was fun) in my domain of expertise(although had a stinct at IMS as a quant mentor to keep my-self busy which still used to be tormenting).I still have my MBA option alive;have a few of GDPI's at K J Somaiya, IFMR, NIRMA, and may be Welingkar and UBS to go. Still getting into any of them seem distant and its probability unknown( as there were hordes of people when I went for SITM's GD at Pune).

So much of negative vibes all around me and being at my cosy home;watching time just flying by has drained away a lot of my will and passion to excel.
All these things force me to think where exactly I am going to lead myself in the coming times. Life after all cannot go on like this always. I know that I shall never be satisfied with sub-standard things in my life. The reason of mine not joining a BPO or going for a government job like many of my pals is the same. I know if I join them, after a period of time I shall start drawing satisfaction from it(being surrounded by satisfied similar employees as was in the case at IMS too). And I shall limit myself into an eggs shell...my world for the rest of my life.

At this point of time I have to take a stern decision. In the wake of this I am
-----------------DRAWING A LINE-----------------
for myself that if by July'09 neither a job nor an MBA from these colleges happen to me; I shall jump into the market with a start-up of my own. This decision of mine shall be averse and astonishing for all my family members,as the investment in my professional education will all go to trash. I shall also may not receive any support from people around me. Still I'd have a make my way.People might also think that I accepted that I lost the battle. Still my dear blog do not let it bother your master. Yet I do not know what shall it be all about but I will take this untrodden path against all odds if need arises then and I entrust you with this responsibility of reminding me onto you.