Mr. Lonelyyyy

What should you do when you feel lonely and all alone?

Have a look at the old photographs...family/friend or goto a hep market or mall OR give a call to old friend (which does not last more than 3 mins).

I tried it all but still cannot elope from this strange feeling. I find something somewhere is missing in my life. Cannot figure it out which makes me feel so sick. Feel all alone in the crowd. People surely aren't the remedy.

So, its been a month and have not written a post. This is how most blogger's lose their readers...by becoming lackadaisical. I do not need to worry as I do not have many. Actually I do not have a few nor do I write with an intention with people to read (well my heart says so but my brain made me to register with adsense...so it thinks differently).

Anyways, I promise you my dear blog that I shall come to you regularly.

I have a new thing to talk about and I am quite exited about it as well - I am writing this post from Ubuntu Operating system. Yes, I did install it using Wubi to get a feel of the linux system. It installs it in windows like an application which you can remove any time your honeymoon ends up with it. I always had a presumption that Linux was like a witch, which casts its spell when you try to install it along with Windows. As when you partition your HDD its very likely that you end up losing your data...all your .pst files and moves and music. Oh God! Can't even think of it.

This is what you can expect from a first time linux user who had not peeped in any other Window except that of Microsoft's. And when he does gets a chance to look at this sexy thing in an neighborhood window; is all on the top of the world.

But seriously this has impressed me a lot...and the most exiting part is that you do not have to shell any thing for it.

Still I do not think that I will install it on my work machine as I would be a sole user of Ubuntu (with no IT support) in my office. God knows what compatibility issues it may have as well.

And yes I'd keep posting about the developments I make in this arena.

Artificial Trees..BANG ON ! What an Idea Sir ji.

Hey! read in the newspaper lately that we'll be having artificial trees soon...incredible isn't it.They will work the same way a normal tree does - Absorb CO2 and emit life giver O2. So, a relief from Global Warming at last. Though, I am very sure it will have similar effects the production of bio-diesel has had...but anyways nice to hear atleast as of now.

Already we are so away from nature - living our lives in plush air conditioned offices and homes. A rainbow after a shower can no more be found amid the jungle of concrete buildings or the smell of mud after the first shower...ahh!

I was surprised to know actually that all the students of a class of a plush school in my city have never seen grains(wheat) ever in their lives...thanks to packaged stuff and organized retail industry.

Where is Love?

I run out for it

And look around
Everything is in place...
Still I gasp for air

And my heart chokes
but air is everywhere.

The air of love
and a touch of care

though is found nowhere...

Where Is Love?

"You live within love always, but you can never find it, capture it, preserve it, or explain it--you might as well try to build a rose with a hammer and nails. Just wait, and listen, and watch, and work--and one day when the time is right, a rose appears on the bush. This rose is rooted in the cracks of the universe, and so is love, and so are you."

Kudos Congress!!

Bharat Shining;

Congress Smiling;

BJP Frowning;

Left Whining.

Confusion ! Diallema ! Getting out of it ! Is an Enigma...at least for me.

The greatest problem I face in my life is when I have to take a crucial decision in my life. Decisions which decide where I will head to in future.And the greatest hurdles which come up are - will the path you choose is of your interest or not, will it be paying or not(if its career related) or the decision will make you happy or not(ones related to love lives). You start evaluating the pros and cons of the same(In my case the Heart just pumps the blood in my body to keep me alive and its just my one and only brain that does the thinking job for me). And what happens generally is that both paths you have ahead of you have strong positives and negatives. You are totally perplexed! Its then you reach out to your near and dear ones of yours for help. So the problem becomes gigantic all the more. Everyone comes up with different views and suggestions. All the more everyone seems correct on their part. Therefore your mind starts wobbling to and fro as you talk to one person and the other. Whether to go for this way or that way. In the course of this you forget what you really wanted and the whole world seems to be a completely messed up puzzle. And you wish you were dead, a better solution to come out of this deadlock.

Looking ahead in future could solve the problem but no one has managed to do so yet. Even I don't believe in palmistry or taro cards prediction(though I admit reading daily horoscope is fun).

I remember a incident from my first year at college -- ALA club of which I was a member(now abandoned) had taken up a task of preparing a Diwali collage for the college notice board. We had prepared a huge DIYA with sparkles coming out of the flame. And each flame had some forecasts on the basis of Zodiac signs...which obviously were forged and were crap even in comparison to the newspaper ones. For example --- "VIRGO : The back bencher's will have to face the wrath of the teachers this week but will earn them attention from girls".Still the feed back we found was positive and people used to associate themselves with it.
It was difficult to believe !!! But its true !!!

So coming back to the topic again. It becomes very difficult to take a decision as its a crucial one. This is exactly the case with me these days. On one front I have an MBA option in Oil & GAS from UPES (you haven't heard it right...its a mid level college). And on other front have a job at SAP LAB's (on contractual mode of employment). Both of the choices are equally fraught with uncertainty...recession has added a spice to it. If I go for MBA there which is a segregated sector may or may not have scope in future but the jobs are well paying if you fight your way into it. But with it also all my entrepreneurial dreams shall be shattered even before they germinate. But the job is low paying and is also uncertain in recession times. Still if I go with this option and it turns out to be a wrong one, its repairable. I can definitely recover and shoot back again.

It was good when my parents used to take decisions in of my life and I could follow them blindly. As it was till I took admission in Graduation. But its out of their scope now.

Therefore, I have to take my chances now.
So All the very best to you Ashish! Go ahead man. Face the blow.

And The Rat Race Begins !

Hey! Have you read 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' by 'Robert Kiyosaki'. If not - do so...but if you already have... you should remember the situation when both the kids go to meet the Rich Dad who was then sitting in his cabin scolding and shouting at his employees and some other employees waiting to see him. So, the two little poor chap had to wait for him. He had gone there demanding for a raise and he believed that he has been exploited and bursts into tears. Rich dad finds it normal as he had joined the league of his other employees in less than a month. Unsatisfied, feeling exploited and asking for a raise.

The same thing went through my mind when I was about to receive my first salary. I was standing outside the cabin of our director and the owner of the institute. Along with me were other employees too, grunting and cursing and mocking at the management. It was though a memorable moment for me as I were to receive the 'first salary' of my life. Even I was made to wait a long(like that poor child) stating some engagements as excuse instead knowing that I shall wait what-so-ever. I felt then that I have to be at the other side of the court some years down the line(still waiting for that auspicious time to come).

O! GOOD! GREAT! ALMIGHTY! LORD HELP ME GET THERE!

If I go on to  implore the things at my end, I have a rich and a poor dad too. My uncle, the rich one hasn't had much of schooling and the standard up to which he has studied is not known to me even. Still he happens to be the most successful and admired one...rather my role model I would say. While the other one has all the degrees and certificates which aren't of any use now. I'd take the safest way though...the middle path, an equal balance of both the things. 

"An excerpt from Rich Dad Poor Dad"

(I love this book)

"Today, the most dangerous advice you can give a child is `Go to school, get good grades and look for a safe secure job,' " he likes to say. "That is old advice, and it's bad advice. If you could see what is happening in Asia, Europe, South America, you would be as concerned as I am."

 It's bad advice, he believes, "because if you want your child to have a financially secure future, they can't play by the old set of rules. It's just too risky."

I asked him what he meant by "old rules?" .

"People like me play by a different set of rules from what you play by," he said. "What happens when a corporation announces a downsizing?"

"People get laid off," I said. "Families are hurt. Unemployment goes up."

"Yes, but what happens to the company, in particular a public company on the stock exchange?"

"The price of the stock usually goes up when the downsizing is announced," I said. "The market likes it when a company reduces its labor costs, either through automation or just consolidating the labor force in general."

"That's right," he said. "And when stock prices go up, people like me, the shareholders, get richer. That is what I mean by a different set of rules. Employees lose; owners and investors win."

Robert was describing not only the difference between an employee and employer, but also the difference between controlling your own destiny and giving up that control to someone else.

This is  what exactly is happening in the contemporary scenario. The companies which are laying off the largest number of its employees are IT firms which have been always been into profits despite the recession quarter by quarter. They also have managed to bag a number of projects as well. 

 

This is what I waited for...

So wipro came up with its joining date..Yippeee...!!!

But Alas! this no longer makes me happy anymore. Still feel cheated and raped by the HR policies they have come up with. They too have a business to sustain and have to meet their bottom lines. So, no issues with the what they come up with.

I want to be at the givers end now...as Wipro has been and others around me are at present...who have supported me. I Want to do something of my own now...But still do not know how to talk it out with my near and dear ones. And my education which trained me for the challenges in IT sector shall go to waste-bins and also the years put into it...but I feel its all I want to do...yet do not have a clear picture what I will head to if I really do. God help me! I know I wont be satisfied with the job in IT domain...and there ain't much money in the field as well. So I conclude that its a wrong path I am heading on to.Still people are of the view that I should go for a job and all. OK then let me give it a shot as well for a few months...will take a call then.

Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms, carry out your plan. 

-Paul Meyer

Huh...life isn't easy nor seems to be beautiful at this time! Success shall make it so!

Very True ...

If you were born poor,its not your fault.
But if you die poor, its all your fault.

---- Bill Gates

Many Lives Many Masters : Mesmerized Me

I read a book by Dr. Brain Weiss lately -- "Many Lives Many Masters".

I recommend it to you all as well...will make you think hard on the lines I have been thinking --

Dr. Weiss takes a plunge into the past lives of one of her patients when he hypnotises her for the treatment of fears and anxiety she'd been through. And in doing so she also reveals a lot about Dr. Weiss.
Apart from this he also connects with the spirits in the space who gives him the knowledge one needs to gather to achieve salvation. I do not know to what extent the events in the book are true but it still makes me ponder over things which are unfathomable. For example what was the all knowledge about Buddha received and from whom to reach the state called "Salvation". SPACE AND ROCKET SCIENCE IS NOT WHAT EXISTED THEN.

During the Vipassana Camp I attended at Sarnath, we were shown one of the video tapes by S N Goyenka ji who tells that BUDDHA are called those people who attain the state of knowledge Buddha attained. And that there have been many buddha's after buddha. Lord Buddha never preached the region but probably he preached how to attain how to attain salvation. But still he never talked about what that knowledge is all about.

We probably live different lives around a set of souls whom we owe something or they owe us some things. Imagine why sometimes somebody totally unknown gives you favour(e.g. which can be a lift in a vehicle or a help of any sort) who's life shall never intersect with yours ever again at any cross road at least in this life time. And some strangers shall inflict something(pain or wound or a mark or snatching something from you)and you may have to live with or without it through out your life.

I believe our mind alone can open up this mystery and if you open it up its only for your own use.One cannot pass on this information to people and you can only show them the path or process to achieve it,as probably Buddha did. Still what I say has no grounds what so ever and I myself do not know what makes me think so.

Our sub concious mind may hold the key...let me give it a pause here...a better crap thought has just got into my head...

...I'm reminded of the matrix-trilogy where all the people are programmed to live a useless world living a useless life where they enjoy the tastes of the food which is'nt real...and joys and worldly pleasures(dine and wine and 69...wont go into refinements). Only a few knew the reality or the truth or had the knowledge or salvation and it was this probably NEO(the protagonist) achieved at the end...or becomes buddh...and dies...but that was a movie.

Drawing Lines

I am a kind of a person who does not retain interest in a particular thing for a long.At least my dad says this about me and believes in it strongly.

It was one day as a child that it came to me that I had to do gardening but irony being; we did not had a garden.We lived in a rented apartment then. But still I decided to buy 10-12 odd pots and to plant shrubs in them. When I told my dad and mom about it my dad gave a thumbs down to the idea out-rightly stating the reason that I shall not look after the plants after a few days when my honeymoon ends with the concept. And the pots shall also consume all the space in the balcony. Still my Mumma supported me going against my dad as she always does. The result was - my project was financed and I ended up buying the earthen pots from a potters shop near-by. Clamped and tied the pots on my bicycle's carrier and brought them home.Next was mud and manure which I sourced from the milkman's shed nearby who had a side-business of preparing and selling it. And plants too from a nearby nursery. The plants included flowers like roses,boganvilla,sadabahar(do not know its english name) etc. along with some showy leafy shrubs. With all this I had achieved all what I wanted. Now watering and pruning the shrubs regularly became a routine.
Every day in the mornings or afternoon or when-ever I used to find time I used to observe very closely each and every new leave or flower that used to come up in any branch of any of the plants. Starting from the point when the bud sprouts up and then it grows big and then un-curling up taking up the shape of a beautiful flower or a leaf. This was my reward. In this way watching them grow in front of my eyes used to give an immense feeling of satisfaction that all my hard work given into it was paid back. This eternal satisfaction used to be my source of motivation of continuing and keeping up with a seemingly mundane task(proved my dad wrong this time here).

This was my experience which dates back 10-11years. I am no longer a child.I have an access to vast pool of resources now. World is my play-ground. I earnestly want to live that same experience again...but the difference being,I want to plant a tree this time....a start-up of my own(pray I'd be able to realize it in times ahead). I still have to decide on the kind of tree I want to plant i.e the concept. And then I shall source the kind of mud and manure(resources) accordingly.

God knows, but may be this can be where my destiny lies. At least my present situation makes me think hard on these lines...and this is what I am coming up onto---

------------------THE PRESENT SCENARIO ----------------

So my dear blog I am going to be personal with you in an explicit manner in this post.

I am going through such a lean patch that I feel I am leading a complete worthless life. Having finished my college so many months ago(8 months to be precise which seems ages now) but still not yet employed(wipro did not gave joining till date...so thank you WIPRO for distributing us free caps and appointment letters costing 50 paisa each...and a free on campus training session which was fun) in my domain of expertise(although had a stinct at IMS as a quant mentor to keep my-self busy which still used to be tormenting).I still have my MBA option alive;have a few of GDPI's at K J Somaiya, IFMR, NIRMA, and may be Welingkar and UBS to go. Still getting into any of them seem distant and its probability unknown( as there were hordes of people when I went for SITM's GD at Pune).

So much of negative vibes all around me and being at my cosy home;watching time just flying by has drained away a lot of my will and passion to excel.
All these things force me to think where exactly I am going to lead myself in the coming times. Life after all cannot go on like this always. I know that I shall never be satisfied with sub-standard things in my life. The reason of mine not joining a BPO or going for a government job like many of my pals is the same. I know if I join them, after a period of time I shall start drawing satisfaction from it(being surrounded by satisfied similar employees as was in the case at IMS too). And I shall limit myself into an eggs shell...my world for the rest of my life.

At this point of time I have to take a stern decision. In the wake of this I am
-----------------DRAWING A LINE-----------------
for myself that if by July'09 neither a job nor an MBA from these colleges happen to me; I shall jump into the market with a start-up of my own. This decision of mine shall be averse and astonishing for all my family members,as the investment in my professional education will all go to trash. I shall also may not receive any support from people around me. Still I'd have a make my way.People might also think that I accepted that I lost the battle. Still my dear blog do not let it bother your master. Yet I do not know what shall it be all about but I will take this untrodden path against all odds if need arises then and I entrust you with this responsibility of reminding me onto you.

Youngistan & Patriotism

60th Republic passed away which wasn't different to the ones I have earlier seen in my life, though on TV. There were all the very similar speeches lauding the old gone freedom fighters,similar parade saluting the President.Though the duration of parade being curtailed this year to keep public interest still alive in such customs.
What all difference does it all make at all for us?
OR How do we make any difference to all this?
How much patriotism do we the young scions still have left in us? Long gone are the days of freedom struggle to showcase ones patriotic feelings by throwing ourselves to the cause.I doubt on what premise people call themselves patriots in contemporary times.
I go on to believe that just picking up guns and joining Indian armed forces isn't the display of patriotism either.They are too just another class of people on payrolls(a close interaction with my roommate at college who had his father served in army and brother in air force have made me believe so).
People like Azim Premji or Narayana Murti can better claim themselves to have served their country in real terms since they uplifted the lives of thousands of people along with theirs.Similarly this role has been exemplified by Bill Gates or Larry Page in their own country.
If one does not believe in capitalistic approach, although its the path on which our economy is treading. We have the example of Amul which brought the so called "White Revolution" and uplifted the lives of thousands of people in hundreds of villages.
If we model ourselves accordingly and are able to achieve a 1000th part of what these people have achieved would be a remarkable success.
OR showcasing the concern and working towards a social cause would also be a correct display of patriotism in realistic terms and in present times. Burgeoning population is also a great cause of concern which should be addressed immediately by we the Youngistan(the term coined by a Pepsi add and M-TV) on their own levels.So fellas reading this post of mine, take a pledge to not to reproduce in your life times to ...that was just to tickle to ease the tight fists of yours...never mind.
GUYS go Dine, Wine and 69 and ENJOY cos INDIA is a free country.