Interpreting Dreams

I do not know if I should write it or not as it is a very pessimistic thought. I think I am reading too much of Dr. Brain Weiss these days and it can be a repercussion of the same.

So I always used to have this dream though I never told any told anyone about it. This is a very brief dream but awe fully terrifying to wake me up from a deep sleep at night. Most of the times I do not get sleep after this dream.

When I am deep in sleep I just feel that I fall from somewhere - a free fall. And then suddenly the inertia is broken and prevents me from falling further. Something pulls me back; all my limbs which were in free fall downwards, feel the jerk and go haywire. I feel I have no control on my limbs either. It is just then my sleep breaks and I quickly open my eyes to realize that this is not the reality. This dream used to be very horrifying for me in childhood. But since it has been quite frequent now, I quickly realize that I am safe when I am back in my senses.

Many-a-times right after when I wake up from the dream I really feel that my limbs were free of my voluntary control and they just go haywire - each of my hands and legs in undetermined direction.

I just could not fathom why this happened during my sleep. I never remember what happens before this. This is the only thing I remember when I get up from sleep.

Just two or three days back while I was walking out from my flat to my society's gate I saw something which really stuck me. While I walk from my flat to the gate I cross a small grocery store. In front of the store is a hibiscus tree which has low branches and hibiscus flowers blossom on it seasonally. On one of the branches hung a half liter cold drink bottle. A rope whose one end was tied to the branch and one tied to the head of the bottle. The bottle hung freely, slightly tilted, trying to maintain an equilibrium and slowly moving to and fro with the breeze which just came at some erratic intervals to prove the lifelessness of the empty bottle which hung there purposelessly. I some how saw the bottle and just keep looking at it, still walking until it went out of sight. I do not know why it stuck me. I just realized it was related to this dream I often have. Its not just a free fall from a cliff; as if performing any adventurous bungee jumping stunt. It was as if I was hung! It was as if the death knot tied around the neck, I was given a free fall. And when the body fell equal to the rope length it then exerted a jerk and pulled back the body resisting it from falling further and lifeless limbs just moving lifelessly purposelessly.

I do not know how true is it. Should I relate my dream to this or not? Is it the past life impression on my sub-conscious mind as I only experience this when I am deep in sleep and is the only time my conscious mind is at rest.

Why there are so many things which you do not have answers for?

Back to Business.

So I came back from home yesterday. I was so happy! Came happily to office in the morning. I carried my laptop bag on my back - same way I used to go to school after summer holidays. I had similar feelings then during old school days. So many years have past still why things have not changed. I used to go to school by bus then. Now my company has provided us cabs - reason being; we can be on time.
I did not even know what had been going on in office for last three days. Now as soon as I came on to my floor, I smelt the air - that same smell I have been used to smell for last 1 year. In school too this used to happen. The smell of the place used to be unique. The smell of the classroom in the morning used to be different as compared to post lunch. The smell in the morning used to be a combination of blackboard, chalks, papers, new uniforms etc etc. Post recession it used to smell of all of these plus the smell of food which may have had fallen on the classroom floor + the smell of sweat etc etc. I cannot possibly describe. The smell and the feelings I guess are very my own observation.
So I came to my desk now. Same feeling came to me when I used to find my table and chair in school when back from vacations. Before I could settle on my desk and could open my bag to get all the paraphernalia out on the desk, and before I could check my mails, I came to know that I had some emails in my inbox. I had to work on them now.
I was back to the drill/grill again now - Rat Race as it is coined.

Is it they way it is...

Why is it so that when two people meet, whose frequency match, they enjoy together and have such a nice time. Initially they talk their hearts out, hang out together, laugh have fun.

One fine day you realize that you know each other so well that you know when the other person is gonna do what. How is he/she gonna react to your talks. It is then you even start taking each other for granted. The way you used to care for each other diminishes. You even sometimes start taking benefit from each others weaknesses.

Just then you realize that a tipping point has arrived.

This is when slowly and steadily the honeymoon period comes to an end. At a point of time when your spaces intersect so much that you almost become inseparable. And suddenly this makes you feel choked. You try to pull off your space now from the amalgamation of the combined spaces. This may not be so easy now. May be somehow you do not even want this to happen.

Why does this all happen? I've experienced this with so many people who crossed my life. Still this happens and I do not learn from my mistakes even.

Is this the way things happen naturally? Does it happen with people in general - do not know.

May be i'll find an answer someday.